A Note to All Fathers Who Pay School Fees for Their Children

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Today is Father’s Day 2025.

I want to talk to fathers. Current fathers, future fathers, and everyone who cares to read this piece of fresh thought. 

To all the fathers who have stood the test of time and held high the noble responsibility of fatherhood, I offer my sincere respect and a generous salute.

It’s a big step that you haven’t given up on your family. It’s a milestone achievement that your children are getting paternal presence in your dutiful care, especially your sons. All men need proper fathering as they scale the ladder of manhood. On the same note, if the above doesn’t describe you, it’s not too late; you can change.

In a typical family set-up, the man is always in most cases the breadwinner.

Even if he earns less than his wife, the man always provides and takes care of the utility bills. On top of that, he has to handle school fees for the kids. All these leave most men drained and not ready to do much more.

In fact, most men thump their chest after meeting the basic necessities in the sense of material and tangible things. They expect their families to interpret that as love. And they rest easy with some satisfaction of their significant manly responsibilities. 

But if you want to realise the challenge with this, then you only need to look at the lives of retired men and their mortality rates.

Most men die earlier than their wives, especially after retiring. The reason is simple, primarily due to neglect by the spouse and children. Most men bear the brunt of sponsorship, yet their wives connect more deeply with the children. In turn, the wives become the most significant beneficiaries later in life.

What makes the difference? What is it that mothers do that fathers do not do that makes the difference for the children? 

We’ll cover 5 critical issues that fathers who pay school fees should take note of:

1. Fathers Are Feared
2. Little Things Matter to Little People
3. Fathers Buy Food, But Do Not Serve the Food 
4. Fathers Are Too Busy
5. How You Treat Their Mother

Fathers Are Feared

Most fathers want to have their presence felt. In most cases, this is not as the father whom you can tell anything. Instead, they desire to be the big man whose presence makes people order their steps.

They stamp their authority in the home and duly earn fear from everyone. Even in their absence, all offenders are threatened by the statement, “You will square it with your father”. 

Children grow up thinking the father is meant to be feared. As a result, they don’t build a safe space to benefit from him as a father. As soon as they join the majority age, they run away to freedom from restraint and order.

As a father, refuse to punish offenses you didn’t witness. Remind your wife that she’s the deputy disciplinarian at home and can equally deal with delinquency manifested in the children.

Try to earn respect rather than force obedience through fear. It will make you their hero. Don’t be a bogeyman, father.

Little Things Matter to Little People

When I was in high school, most students preferred to have their mothers come over during their visiting days rather than their fathers. The reason is simple: fathers came with money and newspapers.

What about mothers? They came with homemade food and money. The food has made a big difference in the equation.

Funny enough, in most cases, it is the father who funds all these. However, the mother’s ability to prepare a sumptuous dish makes her the favourite.

Maybe we should learn that people do not need money, but what money can buy. While fathers feel good that they have paid the school fees worth $500, mothers will be loved more for pushing a $20 pocket money into their children’s hands as they leave for school. And dear father, all these are your money 😂.

After paying school fees, give them a few bucks to keep them confident as they face the uncertain school environment. Don’t let your money work against you!

Fathers Buy Food, But Do Not Serve the Food 

Fathers buy food, and the mother serves it to the children.

Most children love food and find it an excellent way to determine who loves them. If you feed them, they conclude you love them the most.

So let your children see that you care about them. In their mother’s presence or absence, surprise them with your favourite cuisine. Don’t prepare poorly, what their mother has been dressing nicely. Make them know that you’re concerned about them and would want to do more for them when the time is favourable.

Even if you’re good at roasting corn 🌽, or simply boiling water 💧, they will love you for that. Do it nicely. 

Fathers Are Too Busy

The fact that fathers are busy is genuine.

They are busy searching for gold and silver to decorate their family’s life, and deserve a big congratulations for that.

However, most fathers fail to realise that fatherhood goes above and beyond finances and sponsorship. Your children need to be fathered adequately. They are not supposed to know that they have a father, but they actually need to feel your presence in their lives.

They crave your humour and involvement in their childish ephemera. Your sons want to hear about your boyhood and your unique experiences in your generation. They find it so beautiful playing soccer with you. They would gladly go grazing the livestock if you were to go with them.

Don’t rob them of the privilege of benefiting from a good fathering. 

How You Treat Their Mother

Mothers are loved for nothing.

The fact that they are mothers is already a huge reason to love them. They have shared their lives with the children, and have been interacting with them nine months earlier than you. As soon as the children are born, they crave to be gathered in their mothers’ arms.

Fathers must struggle to get the same attachments. Because their mother is precious to them, you must be careful how you treat her. If you ever lay your ill-trained finger on her, you will become their enemy. They will eagerly await being big enough to protect her from your abuse.

If you love her right, and they can see it, then you’ve won their love forever. After paying school fees, they want to see you loving their mother. 

Bottomline

Fathers do a lot for their families and deserve a lot of gratitude for that. But fathers must not forget that little things matter to Little People.

After carefully performing your responsibilities, don’t forget the little things that matter to little People. Take some time to bond with your children.

Go out on a walk with them. Switch off the electronics and talk to your children. Tell them ancient stories of your own childhood. Go visit them at school. Play with them. Be open with them from childhood, so that when they face the turbulence of adolescence and teenage years, they can seek your guidance and wisdom to avoid falling into the hands of the wrong people.

The competition is stiff. But remember, it is not between you and your wife, but between you and influences that tarnish your legacy and connection with your children. Allow nothing to take your children from you.