Take Time To Fear Men and Its Consequences

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One of the statements that is usually used, and more often than not, employed recklessly, is the phrase, “Take time to fear men.” This statement is usually used especially by female folks who have either been victims of masculine abuse or who have had people close to their hearts abused by men. Due to their experience, they campaign loudly, urging female folks to take time to fear men.

As you delve into this article, many fair questions could be ringing in your mind: What have men done to earn such a collective sentence? Are women justified to make such generic pronouncements? Is that the best way to deal with such menaces if they exist?

Disturbing Statistics

As we go forward, I want to bring you face-to-face with disturbing statistics. According to UN Women, an estimated 736 million women—almost one in three worldwide—have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both at least once in their lifetime (30% of women aged 15 and older). This figure does not include sexual harassment.

The statistics could even be more sobering, considering the potential of hidden nuances and outliers. Again, narrowing them down to hot topics such as female genital mutilation(FGM), sexual violence, domestic violence, spousal abuse, and sexual harassment could worsen the situation. 

As we try to come to terms with these statistics, we could deal with another question: what catalyzes masculine abuse towards females?

Factors Favouring Masculine Abuse

What do you think makes it easier for men to abuse women? Share your thoughts in the comments section. I don’t have a decided response to this question, but I want to suggest a concept I will call balance of power in generic terms. Balance of power is a concept commonly used in international relations. It refers to the posture and policy of a nation or amalgam of nations protecting itself against another nation or amalgam of nations by matching its power inch by inch against the other side’s power. Nations pursue a policy of balance of power in two distinct ways. First, by increasing their domestic power, by employing a policy of armaments or territorial expansion. Secondly, by adding to their power that of other states through a policy of alliances.

Bringing this concept home, men, unlike nations, have the balance of power naturally in their favor. Men own more factors of production than women; hence, they are always economically more empowered. In 2022, for instance, out of the 3,194 billionaires worldwide, only 399 (12.5%) were women. It is also worth noting that, whereas male billionaires tend to be self-made, 45% of the female billionaires in 2020 had inherited their fortune. 

Apart from the economic muscles, most men find themselves in positions of physical dominance. Even in places of work, most bosses are men. With such comes a high risk of misuse, and this has nothing to do with gender but human nature. Every powerful individual tends to feel entitled to many things, and if they cannot manipulate you, they find a way of getting their way, resulting in abuse. I hypothesize that the balance of power favors men globally, and when they misuse it, it results in the abuse of others, especially women. 

Responses To The Perceived Abuse

Most people and entities respond by blaming men. Women especially will respond by trying to limit the opportunities that ‘men’ can have the balance of power in their favor and orchestrate abuse. So, you will see women writing on their social media and even saying unequivocally, “Within your busy schedules, take some time to fear men.” This statement suggests that men are the problem and, as such, should be feared. In other words, all these women seem to say, “Men do that because they are men, and as long as we tolerate them and allow them to access our spaces, they will abuse us.” Is that true? 

Again, I don’t blame these women who suggest that we should fear men. None understands their experience and pains better than them, and I cannot, with any reliable accuracy, declare them wrong. If fearing men will comfort them and make them heal from the traumas they may need to carry for a lifetime, let them heal. 

Nonetheless, while looking at it objectively, what could be the problem with these fear-men campaigns? Could there be a problem with hanging on ‘fear men’ as the solution to abuse by men?

Take Time To Fear Men And Its Consequences

Let’s start this with a story. This is a story of a girl who grew up with the mantra of fearing men. As a little girl, she was taught that men are abusive, and her only safety was to fear men. She appreciated the need to be as far away from men as possible for her to be safe and avoid creating a conducive environment for potential abusers. This worked for a time to keep her safe and sound, and the parents were very happy.  

But the nature of life, this side of eternity, usually comes with a package of matrimonial needs at a certain age. This good girl got to that age at which her parents thought she was ripe for marriage. Unfortunately, their daughter had been taught the path she should go as a child, and she never forgot it in adulthood. Apart from the fact that she did not want anything to do with men, she had developed androphobic (fear of men) and misandric(hatred of men) tendencies. The story suggests that anyone who tried to counsel her and tell her that good men can love and treat her right found themselves between a rock and a hard place. End of the story…

What will you blame the established androphobia and misandry on? This has nothing to do with the fact that some men are abusive but with the way this whole issue was handled. The truth is that a mixed multitude of nice and bad people overruns society. Any intervention that evokes a collective hatred of a group, tribe, cocoon, etc, is always a recipe for disaster. It leads to suffering even by the innocent and cumulatively proves an unsafe solution to classified moral lapses in society. 

Instead of fearing men, learn to understand that life works under the ever-adjusting pendulum of the balance of power. Whoever wields more power can dictate a lot of things. We can empower women without necessarily calling them to hate men. There is never a more powerful synergy than when a man and woman come together. This synergy creates the most powerful union and the only one that naturally creates life. We are better together, but not as a collection of independent discordant elements. 

Conclusion

Irrespective of gender, anyone with a balance of power overflow tends to struggle with temptations to manipulate and misuse those with a balance of power deficit. Therefore, masculine abuse cannot be solved by fearing or hating men; instead, by calling men to be accountable and not giving them chances to misuse or abuse women.  Furthermore, we can empower women to find meaningful ways of tapping into the balance of power.