The Only Reason to Fear Men: A Biblical Perspective

There is only one reason to fear men and it is found in the Bible. Of course, people have their stories and experiences and before we travel their journey silence is golden. We are woven together in the great web of humanity. Therefore, we dare not remain silent. The bell tolls for us all. 

“Fear men” is a phrase that many women use more frequently. This is especially true for those who have been disappointed by men. Unfortunately, like death and taxes, the probability of disappointment between women and men is increasing. This problem is becoming more rampant. 

We want to dig deep into this entire concept of “fear men,” by looking at the following:

• Bare Facts 
• Wrong Reasons To Fear Men
• The Only Reason To Fear Men

Let us start by digging into some bare facts that make the world resonate with the “Fear Men” campaigns. 

Bare Facts 

I want to start with some facts that should not attract debate, but you are free to hold an opinion. 

In many parts of the world, the men still control a lot of things. Both political and economic powers are held majorly by the men. The factors of production—land, labour, capital and entrepreneurship—still have men as the major shareholders. 

Again, men still hold a leading role in important life decisions like relationships, marriage and family. Many people see it as normal for men to pursue a lady. They can initiate a relationship. However, it is considered a bit off when women want to do the same. Women have their cards. Their skill lies not in pursuing a man but in creating a conducive environment for a man. They choose a suitable choice for a life partner. 

Men become useful when they use these powers well. Unfortunately, many men are guilty of misuse of social and economic muscles. Many men have used factors of production as bait traps. Once they get what they want, someone must suffer. 

Women who have faced the disappointments of uniting their interests and emotional welfare with such men often become ardent crusaders. They join the “Fear Men” crusades. I can’t blame them, because they know how they feel about the men who have taken advantage of them. I hope they will heal and find love, respect, and honour again. 

All that said, I want to say that, while trauma and pain, cannot be joked with, it is important to get things right. It is okay to fear men. Especially those who have refused to be men enough to protect those they should protect. However, there is everything wrong with getting this concept wrong.

Wrong Reasons To Fear Men

There are some wrong reasons to fear men. Here are some of them:

He Used Me

Nothing is as bad as waking up someday to the reality that you have always believed a lie. You thought you were loved. You expected a marriage proposal. In the end, you realise that the fellow is married. He made you feel you meant something to him. 

Being used to meet pressing needs is not a strange thing. It will become as widespread as the sagging morals of society. It is not supposed to be this way. We have made it easier because we want to run things in the twenty-first century way.

As quickly as we bypass the law of safety and accountability, the reality dawns so hard and so quickly—he got what he wanted and I don’t want what I got. 

You thought you were going out as colleagues in the department, but you knew very well who provided what. You know who was handling the budgets and the part you played. Reality has dawned on you. Somebody else is more qualified for the unfortunate role you have been playing. They can easily replace you. Now you are posting that we should fear men. 

You’re taking advantage of our sympathy and we refuse to be party to you. Fear that man who used you, and blame yourself for giving him the privilege to use you.

You can refuse to be misused by a man. Therefore, “he used me” is not an adequate reason to fear men. Even women do it when conditions favour them. Men have educated people’s wives in colleges and met their special 1844 on graduation. 

We are sorry they used you. But we are not going to fear men because of that man you allowed to mess you up. 

Manipulation

Manipulation is another card that is being used today. Men are especially good at it. 

A man in pursuit of certain things can be what it takes to get it. They can give lofty promises and make you feel more important than what you are supposed to be. 

Manipulation makes people run out of their ideals and compromise certain things to adjust to some realities. They may not entirely align with what you want for yourself. Like that gullible crow, you will open your beak to sing and lose your piece of meat to the fox. 

For instance, a woman who is not ready to meet the economic demands of marriage may fall prey to manipulation. She might be deceived by a man who appears financially stable. Ultimately, she realizes there is more than meets the eye. 

But even manipulation is still not enough to justify fearing men. Women are especially experts in it and when they decide to do it, not many men can escape. The Bible has many examples. It begins with the fall of Adam. There is also the defeat of Samson, the mess and apostasy of King Ahab, and the backsliding of King Solomon.

The book of Proverbs 7 has a painful account of a seductive and manipulative woman at work: 

14 “I’ve made fellowship offerings;
today I’ve fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you,
to search for you, and I’ve found you.
16 I’ve spread coverings on my bed—
richly colored linen from Egypt.
17 I’ve perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deeply of lovemaking until morning.
Let’s feast on each other’s love!
19 My husband isn’t home;
he went on a long journey.
20 He took a bag of silver with him
and will come home at the time of the full moon.”
21 She seduces him with her persistent pleading;
she lures with her flattering talk.
22 He follows her impulsively
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer bounding toward a trap
23 until an arrow pierces its liver,
like a bird darting into a snare—
he doesn’t know it will cost him his life (Proverbs, 7:14-23, CSB)

We can make better decisions by evaluating situations and building relationships on rational thoughts and more stable reasons for relating. 

Let’s now get to the section you have been waiting for, and see the only reason to fear men.

The Only Reason To Fear Men

There is only one reason to fear men and this has nothing to do with what they can do. Instead, it has everything to with what they cannot do. 

Let us read it in the Bible:

This is what the Lord says:
Cursed is the person who trusts in mankind.
He makes human flesh his strength,
and his heart turns from the Lord.
He will be like a juniper in the Arabah;
he cannot see when good comes
but dwells in the parched places in the wilderness,
in a salt land where no one lives.
The person who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence indeed is the Lord, is blessed (Jeremiah 17:5-7, CSB)

The Bible discourage trusting in mankind. This unites both the men and women. 

The only reason to fear men is because they are men. All the weakness of humanity is theirs in abundance. Human beings change with situations and can betray trust so easily as long as the self is gratified. 

It is reckless to wait to be heartbroken to fear men. Don’t wait to hear a woman lamenting that her fiance has failed to appear for the wedding to start fearing men. Don’t wait for the disturbing statistics of deadbeat fathers to learn to fear men. 

Men will always be men unless they are worked on power outside of themselves.

The power in themselves—testosterone and adrenaline—drives them to enjoy conquest and adventure. This power makes them men. It takes the power outside of themselves to make them gentlemen. 

For me, that power is in Christ alone. Ellen White captures it best: 

“The trouble with many is they have lost sight of Jesus and fail to see the self-denial and love and mercy in His character, and therefore they do not imitate His life. But Jesus wants us to be one with Him as He was one with the Father, and He wants us to be united one with another. We want to show to the world that we have a faith that is elevating, that it makes us kind, courteous, self-denying, and begets in us love and reverence for God, and makes us Christian ladies and gentlemen.”

Ellen G. White, Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 4 (1883 – 1886), Ms 4, 1885, par. 8

Many people have lost sight of Christ. They depend on the power within; the very power that has messed us. The result is seen in disappointment and broken promises. 

If God’s goodness has never moved them to repentance, your occasional good deeds and misdeeds will never do. Let them be.