Men, An Irrelevant Species?

“We can be passionate about women’s rights and compassionate toward vulnerable boys and men… We need a pro-social masculinity for a post-feminist world.” – Richard Reeves.

Deep within every human is a desire to feel needed, useful, and resourceful. This intrinsic inclination mostly determines the kind of relationships we forge and the type of vocations we choose. After all, who doesn’t want to feel treasured like a pearl and prized as an asset?

Yet, the value of the man in society is seemingly dwindling. In his book Of Boys and Men, Richard Reeves establishes that the concept of manhood and manliness is more of a cultural construct, i.e. what it means to be a man is tied to certain roles assigned by a particular culture.

Interestingly, the push for more egalitarianism between men and women over the decades is now rendering redundant the man’s traditional role of breadwinner. Equally, numerous datasets prove that more women are now occupying and thriving in previously male-dominated careers, with some even earning more compared to their partners. Hence the question, what’s the usefulness of man in the 21st century?

Further, where does this reality leave the young men, many of whom have often been described as demotivated, highly unlikely to complete high school or college, giving preference to slacking around, ordering rudderless lives devoid of meaningful employment? But let’s pause for a moment to ask, “Why does the current generation of young men lack as much ambition to conquer and excel as was exhibited by the preceding aeons?”

Anthony Esolen offers a compelling argument in his book No Apologies – Why Civilization Depends On the Strength of Men. He notes that “The state grows by family failure. The ideologies that make for an all-competent state demand family failure and call it freedom. The state is a jealous god, and so are the ideologies that aim their gunsights at the father-headed family.” Sadly, “Boys without fathers may be less manly than boys with fathers, but they may well be more aggressive in unhelpful ways, more likely to express their need for risk and action as against a stifling life of women—mother, teachers, social workers—everywhere.”

Is it a wonder, therefore, that such young men, lacking male role models at home or in the neighbourhood, in search of their identities, team up in gangs and engage in ‘thrill seeking’ criminal activities? On the other hand, others seek attention and validation from the girls by composing and performing serenading raunchy renditions. After all, as George Gilder asserted, “Men need women more than women need men. A man without a woman has a deep inner sense of dispensability.”

Truth is, the world is slowly but surely experiencing a crisis of manliness. This plight is existential to the future of the human race, but very few people are willing to have such a conversation. In fact, it would be viewed as a politically incorrect topic in view of more urgent threats such as climate change. Nevertheless, I hope we won’t just focus on saving the planet only to realize in the end that half of the population is dislocated and grossly disempowered beyond repair.

I concur with historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr., who quipped that “The key to the recovery of masculinity does not lie in any wistful hope of humiliating the aggressive female and restoring the old masculine supremacy.” Instead, I believe the solution lies with the state, think tanks, and other relevant institutions. They need to come up with deliberate, concerted, and concentrated strategies which will not only counter this menace that’s creeping in but also decimate it, if possible.

Parents and grandparents also need to spend time with their children, particularly the boys and young men, passing down the gains from previous generations that sustained the family set-up.

Or as anthropologist David Gilmore averred, “Real men do not simply emerge naturally over time like butterflies from boyish cocoons; they must be assiduously coaxed from their juvenescent shells, shaped and nurtured counseled and prodded into manhood.”

Lastly, what about we relook into the true reason for our being, both male and female, as outlined by the Almighty in the beginning? Probably, what we actually need is just a gentle ‘system reset’ that will hopefully erase the smugness resulting from humanity’s deceptive cumulative advances.

Cheers, good people, to a week and lifetime full of contemplation and actualization!!