Men, A Necessary Evil?

“Male and female stand and fall together. If men fall into a bad way, women will be soon to follow, and vice versa” – Anthony Esolen

Yesterday, in most parts of the world, Father’s day was rightly celebrated. After all, the importance of the man in a child’s life cannot be overstated enough. In the ideal family set-up, he is meant to be a houseband – a force of unity in verity. He is also the symbol of authority – his actions and relations giving the children a faint reflection about the character of the Father above.

Admittedly though, since time immemorial, some men have willfully neglected their divinely appointed duties of provision and protection. Some have even used their masculine strength to harm and maim the very ones who looked upon them for security. Sadly, the mere mention of the word father makes many falter while evoking feelings of fear, distress, and unparalleled loathe, reminding them of the physical and emotional pain sustained growing up.

But this notwithstanding, does it, therefore, mean that all men are to be deemed persona non grata? Does the man’s importance in society fade into insignificance just because a few miss the mark? Are all men a necessary evil in the world – undesirable but need to be tolerated?

I conjecture that almost every reader would respond with a calm no. Yet, the reality in society shouts a resounding yes. With the rise of female empowerment over the centuries, there is a sentiment advocated for by misguided feminists which is now normalized: “I don’t need a man in my life.” But is that really true? Does education and the ability to earn a living make man repellent to her? Are the terms of engagement between the sexes now negated because of the female’s attainments and accomplishments? Isn’t it laughable because she easily forgets that the schools she studied in, the roads she drives through, and even the laws she now enjoys are most certainly the works of selfless men who gave their service for the good of society?

This assertion is not only faulty but also blatantly gaudy. In a must-read classic entitled No Apologies – Why Civilization Depends On the Strength of Men, Anthony Esolen notes the following: “We have forgotten what men and women are, and why they are…To suggest that you do not need half of the human race is to confess that you do not love them, you are not interested in their welfare.. When the patriarchs are missing, what you get from the boys is either aggressive disobedience or underachievement and waste..And then you get unhappy girls who despise the boys they have helped to form. The girls, too, go bad, because the sexes are made for each other, and you cannot corrupt one without corrupting both.” The last statement is extremely nerve wracking, to say the least, let me repeat it for clarity. “The sexes are made for each other and you cannot corrupt one without corrupting both.”

As I write this today, I shudder when I imagine the kind of world my sons and grandsons will live in. A world that tells the boys that at some point in their lives, they can choose not to identify as men if they don’t feel like. A world where it is undesirable to be a man because manliness and masculinity are demonized and trivialized. A world that somewhat glories in effeminate men and society is just fine with that. A world where men are despised for lack of vision and ambition by the very ones who contributed to lack thereof. A world that solves a real problem affecting one gender in a punitive and discriminative manner towards the other.

Esolen asks this question,”Would men and women both be happier if men came to a just appraisal of their worth, grounded on powers well managed?” To this I respond in the affirmative. The whole society will become a better place not because all men take a trip to Mars and leave the women to reign: doing so actually means extinction of the human race. Rather, the right corrective actions involve affirming the boys and men; reminding them masculinity is not malevolent but necessary for the world’s existence while emphasizing that all manly powers ought to be properly managed.

That said, there remains some unanswered questions: Who actually benefits from this crisis of manliness, how is it effected and how do we rise from it? Purpose to join me next week for the second part of this conversation.

Till then, cheers good people to a week and lifetime of educated harmony and sustained tolerance between the sexes.